dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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