you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
