remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
honey bunches of taint.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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