He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
