When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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