just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
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Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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