Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
