I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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