Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
