Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
