Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I did not marry a roomba.
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