Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
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Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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