There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
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Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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