I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
soo... how was my night?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
