I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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