Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
