I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
