I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
