I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
