I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize