Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
