He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
