No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
