just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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