He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
