When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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