it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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