didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
