she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
