goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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