you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She told me I should be a condom model.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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