i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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