he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?