Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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(916): View more from California

i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...

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(585): View more from New York

you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.

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(+61): View more from Australia

It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine

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(616): View more from Michigan

You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off

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