Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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