he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.