I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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