oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
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how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
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No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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