apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off