We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
