I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
