1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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