Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
