Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
