u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
