I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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