I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
