The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
