hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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