Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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