take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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