Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
