im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
