i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize