I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
