Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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