it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
