you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
