it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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