He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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