two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
