I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
