sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
