I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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