One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize