I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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