I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
