Whats the glycemic index on semen?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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